Hotter Than Hell
by Terapsina
Summary: There's an embarrassing whine just at the back of Eleanor's throat, she can feel it coming, so instead of letting it out she smothers it against Tahani's lips. /OR/ Michael is bad at keeping his loops straight so during the library info-dump he accidentally shows Eleanor a glimpse into Attempt 218 too.


**Disclaimer** : Not mine.

 **AN** : I finally caught up with The Good Place and because I'm disappointed in them for the lack of Elhani this season, - and because the opportunity was RIGHT THERE - I had to write this.

*o0O0o*  
* **Hotter Than Hell** *  
*o0O0o*

"…I think it happened in reboot 218.″ Michael says and pushes the button that replaces the library around them with a fancy looking dining room.

 _Tahani is sitting on the table, flushed and with her heated gaze locked onto Eleanor. She steps in between Tahani's parted legs, both of her hands touch her knees and as she slides her fingers up, the silk of her yellow dress is almost as soft as the skin Eleanor finds under it. Almost._

 _"Well aren't you a treat?" Eleanor jokes with a shaky voice, something fragile taking flight in her chest._

 _"I don't know. Am I?" Tahani grins and boldly leans forward until their noses are only an inch apart. "Why don't we see?"_

 _There's an embarrassing whine just at the back of Eleanor's throat, she can feel it coming, so instead of letting it out she smothers it against Tahani's lips. Her own knees buckle so she leans forward until she's almost atop the table too, her hands moving ahead toward-_

"What was that?" Eleanor gasps as the present crashes back into her.

"Sorry, that wasn't the right one, I meant attempt number-"

"No! What… WAS THAT?" Eleanor insists, glaring at the fidgeting demon in front of her.

"Nothing?"

"Michael, I just saw myself make out with Tahani. The most gorgeous woman I know Tahani. Sexy goddess Tahani. So hot the Bad Place looks like a freezer in Antarctica _Tahani_. That was totally not… nothing." Eleanor says and clears her throat loudly, mind on a loop she already knows is going to drive her mad… or at least into way too many cold showers in the very near future.

Michael looks like he doesn't want to answer, eyes going around and landing everywhere except on Eleanor. She leans forward to grab the demon by his tie and pull him forward so she can properly glare into his guilty demon eyes.

He folds like a wet blanket.

"There might have been one time where I tried making you soulmates. But this happened just that one time… well two times… well two and a half times, I think you used the term 'frenemies with benefits' for that last one." He rambles, obviously trying to placate the angry Arizona Trashbag.

"Was I in love with her too?" She asks, something terrified beating against her rib cage so hard she wouldn't be surprised to find it escaping.

"No. Yes. No. Maybe?" Michael says, trying to sooth her.

Eleanor is not soothed. First she's in love with Chidi. Now she's maybe in love with Tahani. How many people did she fall in love with while dead? If Michael says Jason, she's going to strangle him with his own necktie and screw the point system.

She might be okay if he says Janet though. Janet's pretty hot too.

Though she's not sure anything could possibly live up to the flush across Tahani's face and neck as she smirked that self important but unfairly gorgeous smirk and egged her to kiss her.

No! Concentrate, Eleanor! Tahani's married.

Well, sort of married. Like… not _really_ married. She's pretty sure it'd be totally okay to… ahem, what was she thinking about again?

Right. Totally not in love with Tahani _now_ so this is… completely irrelevant.

Has she thought about this before? Well, yes, she's not blind. Has she had dreams that have kind of gone like that too? Well, she's only human, you can't blame her subconscious for being inspired. Has she been hitting on Tahani pretty much from the minute she laid eyes on that gorgeous Eiffel Tower of a woman? Yes, yes she has.

But that doesn't mean she's in _love_ with her.

That's ridiculous. Eleanor doesn't do love. So what if the Eleanor from the afterlife memory had butterflies in her stomach and buckling knees. That doesn't mean anything in this timeline.

So _what_ if the feelings were rather familiar.

And yes, okay she did kinda want to go bury herself at the bottom of the Australian ocean when she first saw that ring on Tahani's hand. But that's just because the Hemsworth lump was so stupid, not because… of any other reasons that aren't worth even thinking about.

It's… there's nothing to… she's… she's so screwed.

—

"When is the right time to tell someone you were passionate lovers in an alternate timeline in the afterlife but they don't remember because technically none of that happened in this strand of the multi-verse?" She asks Tahani, not entirely sure if she's planning to out the loops involving Chidi or the ones involving Tahani. "Ugh, you know what? I'll just check with Yahoo answers."

As Eleanor starts to twist around on her chair to leave, Tahani's hand lands on her arm. It's not so much the gesture itself that stops Eleanor in place as the sensory flashback that follows it.

The skin under Tahani's fingertips _burns_.

—

 **AN2** : I now it's short but I do hope you liked it.


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